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The Upwork proposal can be an overwhelming, confusing, frustrating, and tiresome process for freelancers new to the platform. As a result, many freelancers turn to the internet for help and inspiration. There’s a ton of advice out there on how to make the perfect proposal, but unfortunately, it isn’t all good. So to help you better understand what to avoid, I’ve gathered 7 common phrases you should refrain from writing in your proposals.
My goal here is to provide you with examples of Upwork proposals that miss the mark (by a little or a lot) and show you how to turn them around. By the end of the article, you should have the foundational knowledge to tackle your proposals with a better sense of what to write and what not to write. So let’s get started!
#1. "I know you have to read a lot of these, so let’s get right into it."
I see this phrase a lot. The writer meant to sound polite and maybe even show that they cared about the reader’s time. But in reality, it does the opposite.
By using a sentence like this, you’re doing the opposite of what you want to do. This phrase doesn’t address anything about the gig and it doesn’t tell the client anything about you. Rather than valuing the reader’s time, you made them read a completely pointless line.
I’m a fan of the saying, “Show, don’t tell.” That means you need to show your audience rather than tell them. In this case, show them you value their time rather than telling them. You can show them by simply writing a concise proposal. Get right to the point, cover what matters, and move on.
#2. "I’ve loved board games my whole life! In fact, D&D is my favorite and I’d love to work on this project with you."
This is an excellent example of personalizing yourself and relating to the client and gig. I don’t know what the original gig looked like, but it sounds like Dungeons and Dragons (D&D) was mentioned. Including that it’s your favorite game can earn you credibility and show that you’re the right candidate. However, the sentence structure and flow act like a popped tire on an otherwise smooth drive.
Reread this sentence: “D&D is my favorite, and I’d love to work on this project with you.”
Our brains like to follow rules, and that sentence isn’t following a common rule in standard American English. Grammatically this sentence looks fine. It’s a complete sentence. It has 2 independent clauses joined by a coordinating conjunction (“and”). So what’s wrong with it?
Let’s break the sentence apart.
1) D&D is my favorite.
2) I’d love to work on this project with you.
These work as sentences on their own, they make sense, and (when alone) they don’t sound awkward. The issue is that they each communicate a different point. The first sentence tells us about your favorite game. The second is telling us why you’d like to work on the gig. They’re completely unrelated without the right context.
Our brains put boxes around the different parts of English. There’s a box around a letter (each letter communicates something different). There’s a box around a word (each word creates a unique meaning). There’s a box around phrases and clauses (parts of sentences with individual meanings). And then there are boxes around sentences and paragraphs. Each sentence communicates one thing and a paragraph focuses on one topic. Every mental box has a rule about what it should accomplish, and when you don’t follow that rule, our brains can pick up on it even if we don’t realize what’s wrong.
When the writer combined, “D&D is my favorite and I’d love to work on this project with you.” They combined two separate sentences in the same box. You could fix the sentence with a simple “so.” “D&D is my favorite game, so I’d love to work on this project with you.” That’s a little better because the first part of the sentence makes a claim, and the word “so” indicates a result. I’d love to work on this project because my favorite game is D&D. OR My favorite game is D&D; therefore I’d love to work on this project. Because, therefore, and so demonstrate cause and effect. The second part of the sentence is the result of the first part of the sentence. “And” doesn’t represent cause and effect, so it throws the whole sentence off. To a native reader, it can read awkwardly.
Here are some other options:
- I’ve loved games my whole life, so I’d love to work on this project with you.
- D&D is my favorite game! As a lifelong game lover, I’d love to create engaging content for your audience of gamers.
#3. "My experience crafting G&Ts at high-end restaurants makes me an especially qualified applicant."
You could put this in an Upwork proposal and be okay, but it’s missing an important step.
One of the biggest mistakes a writer can make is making a claim and not following up with the “why.”
This phrase essentially says, my experience will help me do a great job for you.
Your reader will be left asking, “Why?”
Sometimes writing is used to encourage the readers to think. Proposals are not that kind of writing. You don’t want your reader to think about what you mean or how your experience makes you a good candidate. Lay it out for them.
For example, “I have 5+ years of experience with gin and tonics at high-end restaurants. That first-hand expertise makes me the perfect writer to engage your audience of beginner bartenders with tried and true step-by-step content.”
#4. "Here are some links to various poetry performances for you to enjoy."
Clients are often interested in your experience and credibility. To evaluate that, they’ll probably turn to reviews, ratings, testimonials, and samples of your work.
As a freelancer (and especially a writer, if that’s you), you include samples to demonstrate your skills. You don’t include samples for the client to simply enjoy like it’s recommended poolside reading. Your samples serve a specific and important purpose.
Don’t dance around the fact that you’re trying to demonstrate why the client should hire you for the job. Here’s how that phrase could be written better: “You can find 3 of my best poetry samples here: …”
And don’t be afraid to share why you’re including the samples, especially if you’re not linking to a website with context. Here’s what my portfolio says: Here are some of my strongest blog posts. They’ve made the list for many reasons, but they all work hard to drive organic traffic, increase engagement, and build authority.
If I wanted to explain a specific sample, I could say something like: “This blog post was based on a popular thought leadership podcast in the X industry. It won the Google snippet within 7 hours of publishing and ranked #1 on Google in the first 24 hours.:
However, you choose to frame your samples, remember what the reader is there for and make sure your samples and context are aligned with the purpose of the proposal and gig.
#5-7 "Thanks for considering me, and have a great day! –––– P.S. – the proposed cost is an estimate. I could give you an exact figure, timeframe, and what I expect to be able to accomplish if we talk. If any of the above sounds interesting, reply to this, and we’ll set up a time to talk this week."
This example phrase is 3 sentences long and I have comments for each, so I’ve broken it into 3 different parts.
#5. "Thanks for considering me and have a great day! "
Again, the “and” here isn’t necessary. “Thanks for your consideration, have a great day!” would have been better, but there’s still an issue. You never want to end your cover letter without calling your reader to act. I’ll touch on that more in #7.
The second thing wrong with this is it’s an ending when it’s not the ending. If you wanted to include this in your cover letter, it should be the very last thing. If you signal to your reader that this sentence is the end, they’ll check out and leave. It’s much less likely any of the content following your ending will get read. In this case, the writer included important information after this sentence.
#6. "P.S. – the proposed cost is an estimate. I could give you an exact figure, timeframe and what I expect to be able to accomplish if we talk."
This is important information, and it was probably essential for this writer to include it. However, I wouldn’t have put it as a postscript (P.S.). Postscripts come from handwritten letters. You would include a P.S. after your signature to emphasize an important point or add something to the letter. You don’t need that here.
Your cover letter isn’t an actual letter, and it’s certainly not nearly as long as an old-school handwritten letter. This writer should have included this information in the body of the cover letter. Or, they could have kept it as the conclusion but turned it into a strong call to action (CTA), which I’m covering next.
#.7 "If any of the above sounds interesting, reply to this and we’ll set up a time to talk this week."
Unlike #5, which is a very weak ending, this sentence isn’t terrible. But it could be much stronger.
A CTA should compel your reader to complete an action. In this case, we want the reader to interview us, message us back, or hire us on the spot. I like that the writer included “reply to this.” It urges the reader to do something we want them to do.
I don’t like how the writer said, “…and we’ll set up a time to talk this week.” Unless you know your potential client specifically wants an interview, don’t tell the reader what they’ll do. You don’t own their schedule. You could actually drive a client away if they’re really not interested in an interview, don’t have the time for a call, or read your response as rude.
I also don’t like that the writer said, “If any of the above sounds interesting….” Like I explained with the poetry, they’re not here to read interesting things. And frankly, it probably didn’t interest them. They’re on Upwork searching for the most qualified candidate for a business-related task, not looking for the most interesting proposal.
Here’s how I would have written the ending for this cover letter if I were writing it for a blogging gig:
“I see that you don’t have a projected budget for this project, so I’ve put the bid at $XX. This is an estimate based on what I’ve gathered from your project details. Would you mind sharing how many blog posts you need each month and how long you’d like them to be?”
Conclusion - Take it with a Grain of Salt
That wraps up 7 phrases you should avoid in your Upwork proposals. Some of them should NEVER be in your proposal, while others aren’t horrible but leave room for improvement. Ultimately, you have to learn how to write strong proposals over time and with lots of practice. What works for me might not work for you. And what worked yesterday might not work tomorrow. Take everything with a grain of salt and focus on developing your skills and making informed choices by learning from other experience freelancers.
If you’re interested in learning more about how to make money on Upwork, check out How I Earned My First $1,000 on Upwork. With thousands of views, it’s proven to be a valuable resource for freelancers like you. See you there!